New dog......Peanut

So, my dog of 14 years died in August.  She had cancer and was in a lot of pain.  So it really was her time.  She was awesome!!!
Never thought I'd want to get a new dog right away, but due to some really rotten timing and some very disappointing weeks, I decided Grace and I needed a little happiness.  Found Peanut online.  She needed a home.  So now we're a house full of females.  1 cat, 1 dog, 1 kid and me.
So far, we've had many accidents in the house.  But we're learning.  I forgot how hard it is to have a puppy in the house.  She is partially housebroken, but definitely not fully.
Here she is.....

Typical weekend...

Funny story,  my daughter is having a sleepover with another friend.  They are both being raised by single mothers.  They are laying in their sleeping bags having a discussion about the lack of father's in their and friend's lives.  Wow!  Whatever happened to the days of having seances and talking about how gross boys are?!  I guess it's funny and sad.  What a shame that kids have to worry about these things these days.

Guess that's a bit of a lead in to my current situation.  Single mom.  Legally still married, but my husband left me a year ago.  July 15, 2012 the day my life changed forever!!!  Wow I thought it was the end of the world.  Of course, now that I know what he really is (I want to keep this blog PG so I won't say), I'm glad he's gone.  He has his own little family now.  Left me for a woman he works with.  Well, in his defense he says he didn't leave me for her.  But he started dating her less than 2 months after leaving me.  I'm sure she helped in his decision a little bit.  I'm not totally stupid!  Anyway, now he has his own little life with her.  Leaves me stuck with all the bills though.  Typical.  Sorry, guess I'm just a little bitter tonight.
But I must say, though my marriage didn't last, I gained some fantastic friends along the way.  All of which, I fully intend to keep near and dear!

Goodnight!

Weekend over :)!

Sunday at 11PM and why am I not asleep???  Well because I'm listening to all the inconsiderate asses who are celebrating July 4th, 5 days early.  SOME PEOPLE DO WORK DURING THE SUMMER YOU KNOW!!!!  UGH!  And there are children who still have to get up early the next morning for camp, daycare, dad' house....whatever....!!!

Okay, enough ranting.  Anyway, today's argument between my 7 yr old teenager and I was rather amusing.  Grace was upstairs cleaning her room and I am in the kitchen wrestling with my can opener that refused to open a can.  Grace:  "What did you say mom?"  Me:  "Nothing Grace"  Grace:  "No, I heard you.  What did you say?"  Me (to myself):  "I said nothing.  I was simply talking to myself.  The only adult in the house" (to Grace)  "Nothing honey.  Just asking this can opener why it won't work for me"  Grace:  "Okay Mom.  Good luck!"  What makes this so hysterical to me is that in the past I've admitted to her when I was talking to myself and she comes down all concerned saying I shouldn't do that.  Bad habit to get into.  But because I was talking to the can opener, it was perfectly alright!!

I do talk to myself a lot.  Always have though.  This isn't like something that just started since my husband left me.  I come from a line of of self-conversationalists.  My father being the biggest.  His secretary had an office across the hall and used to tell me about how much he talked to himself.  I have always done it.  I am an only child and personally I think it is what kept me sane all those years on my own with no other children around. It's definitely what keeps my sanity these days.  My father was not an only child.  Came from a family of 4 other siblings.  Wonder what his excuse is???

Did you ever feel like that when you talk to yourself, that you are speaking to the only person that really gets it?  LOL!!  I'm not crazy.  Trust I certainly don't answer myself or anything.  In fact, I make sure that I don't ask myself any questions.  That would just be weird.

True confessions:  I watch CSPAN!!  There it's out!  Especially on Sunday nights.  I like Booknotes.  I like it so much that I will sometimes put it on my computer at work and listen to the recorded interviews with authors while I work.  I LOVE hearing about the books they've written and how they got their ideas.  I love hearing how they wrote the book.  Not just the research and all, but how they actually went at the writing process.  One author in particular I remember talked about how she woke at 5 AM and wrote in her pajamas in her home office until 9 AM.  5 days a week.  I just thought, "Wow, what a job"!  Wish I had a job like that.  One that would pay the bills and allow me to stay home, but yet still be employed!!  She was quite an accomplished writer though.  Has several best selling books.  So something tells me life wasn't always like that.

So, I guess I'm like any new blogger, not sure how to start.  So I guess I'll just start from the here and now.  Significant event coming up for me on July 15th!!  That's the 1 year anniversary that I became a single parent.  Also the day my husband of almost 9 years left me and my daughter.  Oh well - of course he'll tell ya that he didn't leave his daughter, but trust me, he did.  She was six and I was only 6 weeks away from turning 40.  Funny thing is, I met him right before I turned 30.  Immediately thought, what a waste of a decade!!  Except of course for my little Gracie.  Here she is when she was born:

That is me with her.  Love that picture!!  Such a happy time!  

So actually I guess I should say the 17th of July is a good day to celebrate.  Obviously the 15th isn't so great of a memory, but the 17th was the day I decided that things would be okay.  No matter what obstacles came my way, things would be okay.  I would survive this separation/divorce.  And Grace was going to be okay to.  She was still going to have 2 parents that love her.  It was the day I figured out that, this is it.  This is the rest of my life.  Raising her is my number 1 priority.  Not that it always, hasn't been, but when you become a single parent, the level changes.  I can't explain it.  It's like a different life just hits you.  And the way you raise your child takes on a whole new meaning.

I guess that's one of the reason's I'm doing this blog.  I have tons of family and friends to talk to.  Some of them single parents themselves, though not many.  But it seems like even those that are doing this on their own like I am have different levels or degrees of being a single parent.  Some have more support and help from their ex-spouses.  Others have very little or none at all.  And sometimes I love talking to my friends about all this.  But sometimes I just need to vent and not have an opinion given - at least not verbally.  LOL!!   Sometimes you just need to pretend you are actually saying these things.  For me, writing them is as good as saying them.  And I don't always like to be the "Debbie Downer".  I feel that way a lot at social events and get togethers.  I guess that's why I have tended to avoid them at all costs this past year.  

My days and weeks consist of working  Mon-Fri, 9-5:30 and at home if necessary.  And then being with my daughter anytime I'm not working.  My ex gets her on Monday and Tuesday's all day during the summer, before and after school the rest of the year.  And then one other evening during the week he'll pick her up from daycare and have her for a couple hours.  The rest of the time she's mine.  During the school year I do get a little break on Sat mornings for the 1 1/2 hours of CCD!!  Yeah!!  She doesn't like to stay overnight with her dad yet.  She's just not ready.  I'm okay with this.  I know he's frustrated.  But I think his patience with her will pay off in the end.  She'll get there someday.  I don't feel that it's ok for us to dictate where she sleeps.  We didn't give her a choice about him leaving, so I feel that it is only fair that she has the choice as to who she wants to stay with overnight.  

Well I'm off to bed with my last season of Army Wives!!  Great show.